Diary Entry Day 7 –
Mistress Marquesa emailed me some further instructions to help me become Her “alice.” When i am at home, i am going to have to dress as alice except just before leaving my house and just after entering my house. This means i am going to have to get some curtains for my kitchen green house window. Luckily all my other windows have only distant views or have blinds. i am going to have to keep some female clothes that don’t look too female handy so i can answer the door.
Mistress Marquesa believes in the power of affirmations to help mold peoples minds. Every night just before going to bed, i am to write Her email and type 20 time:
i am alice and belong to Mistress Marquesa
i must become a perfect marvelously masochistic lesbian slave.
In the morning, i must kneel in a feminine manner and repeat Her commandments.
Dairy Entry Day 8-
During the last few days, my desire to become ‘alice’ has been becoming stronger and stronger. In my earlier years, my fantasies centered around constriction and discomfort of feminine clothes. i also liked the feel of satin, silk, and leather. i never thought i wanted to live my life as female. i never thought of myself as having feminine qualities.
However, now i know my emotional behavior has always been somewhat female as has many of my hand motions. i have never enjoyed straight sex and have had very few relationships with women. i have in the past been married for 10 years. i am not gay even though i have had fantasies of forced homosexuality . Part of my burning desire to become female is wanting to be Mistress Marquesa’s girlfriend.
i know i do not have a chance of being her boyfriend and i accept this as being natural and right.
alice
